Please ignore the grammar. This is a thought stream.
I remember how big everything seemed…The aisles, the racks of toys, the awesome ten-speed I wanted to ride down the street in my neighborhood. I was four years old and with my mother at the local Kmart in Anderson, Indiana. It was always an exciting experience to take a trip into town because of one thing: toys. It didn’t matter what we were there to purchase.. I always wanted to hit the toy rack.
I specifically remember that day. Matchbox had just released a new car. I don’t remember exactly what the car was.. I assume a red ferrari? Assumptions always have there place in memories. I wanted it. I remember picking up the glossy package with a shiny red car… begging for me to drive it down the driveway of my Lego mansion. I wanted it…so naturally, being four years old, I assumed mom would get it for me. I stood on my tip-toes, reaching over the iron grate of the shopping cart.. gently dropping the box to the bottom. I knew mom wouldn’t notice, because well… she had better things to do than worry about me.. her four year-old. Unfortunately my four year-old mind was completely wrong and she told me I didn’t need the car right now. Well that didn’t make any sense to me whatsoever… Why not? Why didn’t I need the car? I only had six for my Lego mansion and any four year-old worth their spit needed to have seven cars parked outside my multi-colored building. What would my friends say?
I was upset and rightfully so! She handed me the car and told me to put it back where I found it… maybe Santa Claus would bring it to me for Christmas. CHRISTMAS! That had to be fifteen months away! I would have a new mansion by then.. maybe even two! I pouted and went to put the car back.
When I turned around my mother was gone. She had completely vanished out of thin air. I hurried through the aisles looking for her. I was terrified. What did I do? Did my mother just abandon me? I would have picked the blue car instead… if that is what she wanted.
I remember crying in the aisle because I was completely ruined. I couldn’t find my mother. I can still remember the desperation I felt. The thoughts I had going through my head on why she would leave me.
At that moment I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around.. It was her. I can’t really explain the feeling I had when I saw my mother’s face. Nothing else in the world mattered to me. I completely forgot about the red car… everything in my small world completely made sense. I had no worries, no thoughts of desperation.. not a care in the world. All that mattered was that I was safe and with my mom.
I can’t explain why I remembered this specific incident in my life. I can’t recall much of my life before seven or eight years old. It made me think about the stresses and worries we have in life. The problems that are blown way out of proportion because we forget the simple nature of life itself. The simplicity of just caring for each other.
I can distinctively remember the feeling when I saw that red sweatshirt. Comfort. Peace. I encourage all of you to think back on that day in your childhood where everything made sense. Where the only thing that mattered was the one thing that brought you comfort.
I’d also encourage you to make those days for others, especially your kids. When I hold my three-year-old, I often give it an extra ten seconds after I first think to let him go. I hope that he remembers those as the “simplicity” moments and “that day” times when he’s a grown man, facing a complicated world on one of “those” days.
you’ve always been a great writer. i enjoyed reading this…i remember those days–when the little goodies in the 25 cent machines were life or death, hah. love ya.