We have been through the friend train on Myspace. We have been through the obsessive adding of people trying to get the biggest friend list on the block. I have spoke with numerous people who feel their social capital is built around how many people exist within their network. They take some type of pride in the fact they have over 4000 friends on Myspace or Plaxo.
You know what I have failed to ask them?
So What?
I was reading a blog post by Beth Kanter called My First Grade Teacher Friended Me on Facebook. This post title really has nothing to do with what I am talking about but she makes a great point in the post:
Do you remember the line – “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” It means roughly that to get things done you need to build up social capital, not just knowledge.
She goes on to say that the majority of social platforms are making it extremely easy to connect with people. There is so much beauty in the thought of connecting with hundreds of people and building your social capital. However this does not mean your social capital consists of 5000 people in which you have never spoken. The days of bulk networking, 500+ on LinkedIN, and massive friend lists are fast dissapearing.
Do you want to know why?
Because it is easy. Let it be know that there is nothing valuable in the social media world that is easy.
Another reason?
People are craving relationships. I was on your mailing list 3 years ago why would I want to be spammed on my social networks? They would rather not be a part of your mailing list.
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With Twitter, I find it amazing how many requests I get that I know are just about numbers. My Twitter followers and following are low. You know what? I don’t care. I turn down at least 10 follow requests a week because after reading their tweets and looking at their site (if they have one), the don’t offer anything valuable to me.
I’m also a little annoyed when people follow me that I know I don’t offer any value to them.
This entire Social Networking / Social Media craze is great on so many levels, but sometimes I think it is taken to the extreme. I’d rather have 10 great friends then 1000 people that are just names on a list.
If you have 10,000 followers on Twitter and you die tomorrow and never post again, how many will recognize that your gone?
Having a ton of connections is great on a superficial level, but having meaningful relationships with people that you’ve actually shook hands with is what makes life worth living.
So true Kyle. Many of the people who have 500+ contacts on linkedin are on open networking lists. Basically these people broadcast that they will accept anyone as a friend. Relationships are rarely formed in this manner. Typically it’s all about the numbers and not about establishing quality contacts that you can leverage in your business.
I think twitter is a little different. I have no problem following someone if I see they’ve posted something I like, and I have no problem with random people following me. Twitter creates a lot of opportunities for random exchanges which can be great. Someone I’ve never met and never conversed with might post something that I find interesting and that can be a great way to start building an online relationship.
As you point out, there is a big difference between quality and quantity, especially in relationships.
The interesting part about how this relates to social capital is that both the quantity and quality of relationships (somewhat like breadth and depth of reach) each create and “store” their own kind of social capital, but the two can’t necessarily be exchanged for each other. Each are great in their own way, just important to use appropriately…
I strongly agree with this post Kyle, I wrote one very similar early last year. Are you creating a mailing list or a Network.
http://tinyurl.com/cahmat
This not only applies to your online networking this also applies to your face to face networking. I am amazed how many people run from one networking event to the next, gathering cards. NO ONE goes into my database until they have at least built Credibility with me. Just because I met them does not qualify them to be in my network. When I pick the phone up and call someone who is actually in my network I know and they know that we already have a relationship. Everyone else, goes to my “mailing list” as people who could be good resources or contacts but I have zero relationship.
[...] Marketing a word is worth a thousand pictures My friend Kyle Lacy wrote a post on Tuesday, So You Have 500+ on LinkedIn? So What? We have been through the friend train on Myspace. We have been through the obsessive adding of [...]
I wrote about this post on my own blog, Can You Have Too Many LinkedIn Contacts?
Harvey Mackay says it is possible to have a large number of contacts, but only if you have the time and energy to maintain a minimal amount of contact with them. That can be as little as twice a year – once on their birthday, and once as a quick personal email another time.
However, keeping a large contact list is like blogging. If you don’t have that much time to invest, you shouldn’t start it to begin with. If you can’t maintain a twice-a-year contact with some of your acquaintances, then don’t add them to your LinkedIn list.
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