I have reached a critical point. I wouldn’t say it is as much of a breaking point as it is a… just being pissed off point. Let me explain.
We all have friends, family, and acquaintances that have lost their job. It is a recession and the economy is not as strong as it once was (back in the day). It makes sense that someone you are connected to.. somewhere.. is going to lose their job. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of a friend losing their job?
Right. “How can I help them find a job to provide for their family or themselves.”
Second scenario. You have a friend that asks for help or asks for you to provide assistance to a third party. Out of the goodness of your heart… you help that person.
Now.. maybe I am just over the top and I expect to much from people but when someone helps me, gives me advice, or the tools to get the job done… I use it and I thank them. It is a novel concept, I know. I actually use the tools and advice the mentor gave me in order to further myself in life.
I don’t know if certain people in my generation are just lazy or complete idiots. I have had multiple times when I have helped out a third party (someone relocating or a friend-of-a-friend) and they do nothing I tell them to do.
“Are you looking to relocate to Indianapolis? Cool. Well you should join LinkedIN, SmallerIndiana, and Facebook. You are welcome to connect with anyone you want from my LinkedIN account. I will forward the introduction and Smaller INdiana is a great place to meet like minded individuals that will also have jobs or know of job openings. You could also start a blog/site where your resume is highlighted.”
The majority of the time they don’t do any of it. They even forget to send me their resume until three days later. If I was looking for a job I would be salivating at the chance to connect with over 400 professionals through an account on LinkedIN. I would be listening intently to advice given by someone.. anyone.
My advice:
Quit being normal. Quit being lazy. Get off your ass and get something done. Be proactive. Be extraordinary. Write a note and thank someone for helping you out. Do everything they ask and do it the day they give you the information. Don’t wait 5 days to setup a stupid social media profile because they are watching.
And do you think I am going to forward a resume that wasn’t sent to me until a week after I talked to you? Click. Trash.
And next time YOU decide to call me and ask for advice… you will be receiving a bill in the mail for my hourly rate because you don’t deserve it.
Okay I’m done. 
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It is amazing how some will expect you to provide them a handout because they are trying to start new things, but will neglect to do anything to get what they are looking to achieve. They would rather exploit your abilities. I agree with you, start charging an hourly rate;). Great post, get off your butt people and do big things!
Nicely said. I completely agree with you. It’s quite sad to see a friend or anyone you know lose a job – and I say it’s okay to mourn about it for a a day or two, but that’s it. Stop saying and start doing. Yes, it’s sad. Yes, it’s frustrating and YES, it’s very hard. But nothing is ever handed to you – use your sadness, frustration and anger to your advantage and as motivation.
Allowing your pity to take over your life prevents you from being your best.
I wrote about the same thing in my blog this week. http://www.askmattonline.com/?p=120
“great” minds, same circles ???
Matt
Rather than “Helping” them you may be “hurting” everyone by letting them get away with stuff simply because you assume the best and wouldn’t want to err on the other side.
However, one’s own rep. suffers every time one of these raised-in-a-barn FOAFs get “found out” to be, umm, not the ideal candidate.
The economic disaster doesn’t make the niceties and formalities dissappear, quite the contrary.
I suggest you just have a series of little tests (a website?) that can filter out people who want you to get them a job they don’t deserve v. people you would like to help.
I agree. Its really frustrating to hear people ask you for help and then see the advice go unused. I’m there with a few friends, and they expect one to bend over backwards to do all the work for them..
But if you’re not willing to help yourself, why should I?
Wow…Kyle is laying it down today. I agree with this, but would like to add one key thing. Please, Please before you join any of the social networks or do the other things Kyle suggests- PUT A PLAN IN PLACE. I cannot stand when someone joins Smaller Indiana and immediately writes on EVERYONE’s wall asking for job when you have NO CLUE who they are. I consider this SPAM. Sorry, but it is rude. Take a few minutes to at least build a relationship and get to know someone before you ask them for help. You are going to get much further that way.
Oh and you from 15 years ago that I barely know and all at once you are my best friend when you need a job…can’t help ya either. Get off your butt and go do something! Man, this feels good! No wonder Kyle did this post.
Kyle, I’m strongly tempted to print this out and hang it on the wall in my office. I’ve been terribly apathetic about getting myself back in the workforce, and I really can’t blame anyone but myself. So this post I believe will be very motivational to me.
And if I find a job as a result, I’ll be sure to let you know. Thanks!
Hey … can I have a job? I live in NH, like to work… well, not too much. Could do some stuff between Tues and Thurs, 10am – 2pm. But, otherwise, that starts to bother me. I would like to be paid a lot, company car, expense account (that I can fudge) and not work too hard.
I’m pretty smart, but don’t like to think too hard. I should exercise, but it’s tough… start to sweat and that’s annoying.
So, if anyone has a job, send me the info. I do Sales, Event Planning, and Training.
Thanks. I’ll get back to you in a few days.
TC~
[...] You Need A Job? Get Off Your.. I’m Tired of Helping (kylelacy.com) [...]
I like how people who have a job and no worry for tomorrow come up with stupid blogs to make themselves feel empowered such as the prince who wrote the above blog or whatever you want to call it.
I can tell that you have no idea what you are talking about by the way you promote social websites as great places of opportunity for job seekers. You may have heard that on the news but in reality strangers do not help strangers unless it involves something very easy with no chance of inconvenience.
Everyone out there with a job can come up with bada- bing, bada- boom- pow you got a job kind of advice. Since you are so willing to help others why don’t you give me your phone number so we can network?
My email is fpgt95@yahoo.com. Let’s see how helpful you will actually be. My guess is you will just smirk at the idea of talking to a stranger and yet you think you’re a super great individual, a fine specimen entitled to respect and worthy of casting judgement on others. It is easy to write words that come from the BS center of your brain. Prove me wrong!
I appreciate your comment but you are a little off base. I tell people to use social in order to meet individuals who may have similar interests. Now… whether or not you respect my opinion is not my issue. I am speaking from experience.
Feel free to send me a note whenever you like. You can even add me on LinkedIn if you want >http://www.linkedin.com/in/kylelacy
I totally agree with you 30% of the way, Kyle! For a lot of white collar people without jobs, getting out there, making a name, networking, and just being creative in the job search is an obvious activity that a lot of people just don't do. The other 70% of unemployed America, however; the factory workers and the office administrators and the municipal grunts aren't going to be able to Tweet their way into a new job on the line at the Toyota plant in New Pal. There is still an employment problem in that sector.
But we're talking the former 30% here and I think it boils down to passion: If someone's passion for their job stems from their needing to keep a roof over their head and dinner on their table, then of course there's going to be apathy. I don't even think it's laziness- I think that as corporate America homogenizes (and makes more boring) its workforce, their workers lose the perspective that sometimes hard work is its own reward.
People have become their paychecks and that sucks.
If you're passionate, an employer will recognize it and if the employer is smart, they'll milk it for all its worth!
I totally agree with you 30% of the way, Kyle! For a lot of white collar people without jobs, getting out there, making a name, networking, and just being creative in the job search is an obvious activity that a lot of people just don't do. The other 70% of unemployed America, however; the factory workers and the office administrators and the municipal grunts aren't going to be able to Tweet their way into a new job on the line at the Toyota plant in New Pal. There is still an employment problem in that sector.
But we're talking the former 30% here and I think it boils down to passion: If someone's passion for their job stems from their needing to keep a roof over their head and dinner on their table, then of course there's going to be apathy. I don't even think it's laziness- I think that as corporate America homogenizes (and makes more boring) its workforce, their workers lose the perspective that sometimes hard work is its own reward.
People have become their paychecks and that sucks.
If you're passionate, an employer will recognize it and if the employer is smart, they'll milk it for all its worth!
Some great comments on this blog. As someone who owns their own company and has to wake up everyday and figure out how to create a job for himself, as well as other people, Kyle probably has some clout on this subject. I dont believe Kyle is an expert job placement person nor does he claim to be, but he definitely isn't one of those guys who just shows up at work, collects a paycheck, and doesnt have to worry about having not having a job. The reason is, if Kyle doesn't get off his butt and sell himself every day, he doesn't get a paycheck. I think, sorry i know, that Kyle would say he's thankful to have a job and that he gets to go to work everyday and that he feels for people who in the wake of the economic depression deserve good jobs because they are talented and hardworking people. I think the people he is talking to in this post are people who seek his advice, who he in turn gives time to (time he could be out helping his business) then watch those people do absolutely nothing with the advice or do absolutely nothing in general. Just a guess.
Not having a job could be one of the toughest things to go through. I feel blessed to have a job because i'm reminded every day that it's not something that everyone gets to have at this point in time.
Great post. I'm tired of people taking advantage of my advice with no thank you…or the other situation, where you give them free amazing advice and hook ups, but they do little to help themselves.
I guess I get frustrated because I took so much time to learn about job hunting, networking and stuff, and I wish someone would've told me all that sooner. So, when I'm trying to save someone my frustrations/mistakes, and they don't take my advice…ugh.